A Short Testimony

Over the last three years,

I lived in a divided space mentally. I desired what was ahead, but I also desired what was behind me. There was this constant tug of war. I would think of who I was before tragedy struck my house, remembering the smiles and joy present with me. I was seemingly stable and felt as though I had some control. 

After the tragedy, truth entered my heart, and the reality was that I had no control. The anxiety of it all kept me double-minded. It kept me bound. This anxiety held me hostage, in fear of "what-if." I would rejoice in anything good for a short period because "what if" it was retaken. "What if" I would endure the same pain I had just a few years ago. I figured I would do the bare minimum, second-guessing every decision because believing and looking forward to anything good would be too costly emotionally. 

I sought counsel, and in that, the Lord revealed the root cause. I was double-minded. I was living just as James described in chapter 1 of his epistle "'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 'James 1:5-8

 I could not commit to anything because of this divide. Everything makes so much sense now.

What’s True is I am safe. No matter what, I am safe. God is watching over me both as God and relationally, as a perfect Father. No failure is un-redeemable. As a matter of fact, He specializes in the rebuilding process after being crushed. 

As I look forward to what's ahead, I no longer have to fear the uncertainty of my tomorrow. Instead, I now have an absolute tangible trust that lets me know that everything will work out. I don't have to rehash what was, what will be, or what's ahead. God is with me! God is with you as well! It matters not what you've walked through; in Christ Jesus, you can be made new ('Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17) It's not healthy to stay stuck in the past. It only hinders your future. 

I encourage you to get some Godly counsel that can hear your heart, not just your words. Get back to the things you love and trust that God is rebuilding your life one stone at a time.  

Be Encouraged,

Bettye Nicole