Infertility| Struggles|Pride & Hope

God has given me a burden for those who struggle with infertility. My prayers are always different, and so is my Faith. I believe it's the possibility that I see within the impossibility and the power that can be revealed in one moment.

The journey of infertility is one of trying, waiting, rejection, failure, trying some more, waiting, giving up, hearing a word, trying again, losing all hope, and then in an unexpected twist of events, God coming through.

Story Time

For some reason, shortly after my daughter passed away, my eyes were opened to how many women struggle with conceiving. The pain I experienced in loss could relate to their pain of “never having”. Both, were relative and felt like a well of deep intense sorrow. This burden to pray was backed in action.I once wrote these words to someone on Instagram…

“ I look at your pictures and all your cute little videos of Ansel and each time my heart swells up with tears. Tears of Joy. I remember when I first came across your page after I had loss Bailey and I couldn't help but thank the Lord that I had her for four months. I would feel worse for you because you didn't have any children. So day and night I would say a prayer for you. When you would post different complications I would cry out to God on your behalf that he would get Ansel here safely. And he did. God did. Now to look and see you with him just makes me love God even more. He is so faithful. No matter how long it takes, for some it's days, others its months but then there there are people like you, who wait years. When God does it, it is so perfect that you completely forget about all of the pain and the sleepless nights of crying and asking God "When will it be my turn". I just want you to know that even in my grief I prayed for you and Ansel is a perfect example of hoping against hope and trusting God. He is so perfect!” November 15th, 2016

God changed Her Infertility Story and I believe it was prayer, waiting and Faith that saw her through to the end. Though she didn't conceive in the way she hoped, she conceived and God was glorified!

Struggles

We all have struggled with some form of barrenness and live with the deep sorrow of continuing to walk with God in Faith while the sadness and grief of life travel along with us. We have conditioned ourselves to tuck away the sorrow under the guise and grace of trust.

I don't know! I just believe that there is a purpose in it all! God uses these impossible circumstances so that we may press more into Him and understand a depth of suffering silently while living in Faith out loud.

Pride

I struggled with this secret sinful state of Pride in the past. It's not a malicious one but one that is rooted in the pain of failure. There have been many things that I've chosen not to do because I didn't want to experience failure again. Failure can be our greatest teacher, but it also wounds you in ways I don't believe are discussed enough. I've seen this fear of failure in infertility as well. Pride whispers, give up; you thought it would happen this time but failed again. Why is failure rooted in Pride? Because failure makes you look bad! It makes you feel as though you didn't get it right. There is this consistent theme of "you" failing.

My failures have led me to fear! God is a good father and gracious to all, but there are still some areas in which He continually has to remind me, "Bettye, I am taking care of that too.

What if we viewed failure from a different perspective? One that considers the perceived failure acknowledges it and then entrusts it to God. Instead of magnifying what didn't work, what if we pick through the pieces of what did? This means search for the parts that make for a great story and lesson for someone else.

God is showing me that it is prideful to worry more about failure than following through in obedience.

So how does infertility, Pride, and failure fit together?

I believe God takes a barren impossibility, the unbearable pain and struggle of it all, and shape us so that we may understand deep hurt and hope simultaneously. Isn't this the perfect imagery of our Savior, Jesus Christ? We must be like him!

Encouragement

Failure is only final if you decide to give up. If you are struggling with infertility, keep trying. If you are struggling in your Faith, keep fighting the good fight. If you fear failure, surrender the fear to Christ through prayer, then do the next right thing. When pride rears its ugly head, choose humility. Pray and ask God to help you submit the fear to him; I believe the pride will dissipate with it.

God can open your womb! You didn't fail! God can heal the fear of failure! Pride will bow to a Surrendered life! Trust God;It's not over, God is still working.

'And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

PS: This blog seem to go in different ways but I wrote it as I felt led, prayerfully this encouragement will meet you with comfort. Be Encouraged,

Bettye